Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Rambling & Depressed (aka trying to stay distracted)

This month will be a busy one, but I'm thankful for it.

 Three Noonday Collection trunk shows and a vendor event. I've almost met my goal for the holiday season. Four shows is my goal. Still could happen! I'm trying to talk Kolby into doing this cool guys night out thing where they eat lots of junk food, watch something manly, and bring the Noonday wish lists their girls make... Still working on him.

Direct/home sales has been a welcome challenge for me. I've grown so much in this business and I've done things I never thought I could do. The support team at home office has been incredible, and I've learned so much from the training calls that have been provided.

This company is everything I've ever dreamed for in a job... social justice, style, taking care of the widow and the orphan, partying with like-minded women, and wearing lots of handmade accessories... I don't know how it could get better.

Oh yeah... I get paid to do it!

 Being a Noonday Ambassador is one of the things I'm most proud of myself for doing.

And that feels good. Because after a traumatic weekend for my entire family, my depression has been especially bad. So focusing on something I've accomplished is helping me a little bit.

I'm looking forward to blabbing on and on about Noonday, the pieces, the artisans, the orphans, the mothers, the lives being changed...

I don't want to talk about myself. Or those... feelings. Or the lack of feelings. I don't understand any of it. I want to, I just can't.

My brain won't turn off processing all of... that.

So I'm really really looking forward to blocking all that junk out and focusing on something good. Something worth focusing on. Maybe it will pull me out of this.

Will you pray for me? For my family? It scares me when I get this low... mainly because I start obsessing that I will stay this way forever. I think it's a season though. I think things will change. Please pray that they do.