Moving a couple months ago was challenging but the right thing. God provided every step of the way and we knew that this is something He wanted.
The past couple of weeks have taken a turn that has left us reaching for our life jackets. My husband got a large, unexpected paycut. Unanticipated bills and circumstances also came floating up to the top of the water... they haven't quite made it here, but they're right there, on the horizon. A reminder that we won't stay afloat unless some holes in the boat get plugged.
I've settled well into my new job, the kids are settling well into their schools, but my husband has been seemingly left in an unsteady place. It hurts to see him in this position. While not the primary focus, but still an important one, it's hurting our bank account as well. We're doing all we know to do to take steps forward, out onto the water, but we're struggling to keep our focus.
This morning I decided to shift my view to gratitude. I've learned in God's word the importance of praise and gratefulness even in the trials. After all, we know that He's working for our good even when we can't see it.
It took some work. I think a lot of us have a natural tendency to "fix" or "solve" the problem. But the kingdom of heaven is backwards guys, so instead of striving, I am sitting in it. Sitting in the middle of the mess and saying,
"God, thank you. Thank you for my children having good attitudes when they woke up for school this morning. Thank you for a van with semi functioning AC. Thank you for the wind in my hair. Thank you for food in the pantry today. Thank you for the current jobs we have. Thank you for moving us when you did... I can see now, if we had waited, we could not have financially made it because of this paycut. Your timing is perfect. You always work things out better than we could have fathomed. Thank you for the hard times that have produced endurance, so our faith doesn't fail when the waves grow higher. Thank you for laughter. Thank you for hope. I trust you to take care of this, to show us the way, to miraculously provide."
And I take a deep breath and sit in it a little more.
I can faintly hear Him speaking the waves into calmness, and I'm reaching for his hand as he pulls us up to stand on the water.